/sneed/ - Sneed

Everybody knows that if you surf the web long enough, you'll see some pretty sick shit. This is especially true if you intentionally dwell into the dark underbelly of the internet. I've seen quite a few things I don't care to admit to, but one thing that I'll always remember is a site called "normalseedfornormalsneeds.com".

The first strange thing about the site was that I didn't find it by actually looking for it. It was e-mailed to me by someone I didn't know. The e-mail was as follows:

Hi there
found this site is very nice thought u might like
normalseedsfornormalsneeds.com
pass it on, for the good of chuckkind
Pretty standard issue chain letter, although the url and the last remark really piqued my curiosity. I was having a very boring day when I got this, so I made sure my anti-virus was working and then I clicked on it.

It was a very average, very generic looking site. It gave the impression that the creators just BARELY gave a shit about making it look professional. The author seemed to have a very tenuous grasp on English, and on the front page was a long, boring, and incoherent rant that I don't remember or have saved.

The site had a strange tagline (which even today people haven't figured out the meaning of), which was:

"Normal Seed for Normal Sneed, A Website Dedicated To The Eradication of City Slickers"
And from the sound of that, I wasn't sure whether I was here to watch porn or if I had stumbled onto some kind of eugenics program. But I was here now, and I was very, very curious to see what "Normal Sneeds" get their feed off to. So I scrolled down through the rant and…nothing. The page didn't seem to link to anywhere else, and I was about to leave when I noticed every word of the rant was its own hyperlink.

So I clicked one of them, and was sent to a white page with very long list of links in the form of:

"normalseedfornormalsneeds.com/(random letters)"

So I stopped for a minute and asked myself if I really wanted to waste God knows how much time clicking random links that will likely give me a virus that will rape my computer. I figured I'd just try it for maybe five minutes, just to see if anything came up. I clicked one of the links, and was sent to another page. This page apparently had totally different urls than the last one.

I was just about to say "Fuck this" when I clicked on the third link, and a video download came up. It was called "gucciloafers.avi". It was a thirty-minute video of 2 farmers and a city slicker in a kitchen. The city slicker would make a gummy bear sandwich, and the man would set it down for the farmers to eat. This was all that happened, for thirty minutes. It was obvious that the cameraman had to stop filming and wait until the farmers were ready to eat again, and the farmers seemed rather sick by the end of it.

I know what you're thinking: "What the hell does that have to do with seed?" I have no clue. I've seen a little over two dozen videos from this site, and the majority had no agricultural activity at all.

After watching gucciloafers.avi, I went on a certain image board I frequent to play online show and tell, like I always do with weird shit like this. But someone had already made a thread about it, some guy who had received the same chain letter I did. The image board thread got lots of people with nothing better to do to dig through the site, and that's how I saw other videos.

Most of those two dozen videos were very uneventful, and consisted of people talking to the cameraman in a room with nothing in it but a fancy german car and a few chairs. I mean literally nothing on the walls, or in terms of furniture. The whole room had a very cold, sterile feel to it.

The conversations were just idle banter about park avenue manicures or embarrassing seeding moments. I kept expecting some kind of discussion about what the people were filming or what the site was about, but of course, nothing. You would never know these videos had anything to do with seed if you saw it out of context. I will say one thing though, the people who appeared in these videos were quite attractive.

However, the other videos that actually did feature content which I suppose could be called "sneedual" is where things got weird.

I'll give brief descriptions of the stranger videos; if you're really eaten up with curiosity you can try to hunt them down on a torrent site.

welllahdihdah.avi
A ten-minute video filmed by a hidden camera in which we see a farmer working on a fancy german car for the first two minutes. When it's fixed, the farmer talks to the owner briefly, and then leaves. The owner checks to make sure the farmer is gone, and he begins to lick all over the top of the car. This goes on for seven minutes.
formerly.avi
A five-minute video of an obese city slicker performing his act. It was actually pretty funny, particularly one part where he pretends to pull up a chair, then pretends that it breaks because of his weight. In the last thirty seconds of the video, the camera cuts to static briefly and cuts back to the man sobbing quietly, still wearing mime outfit and makeup. Some kind of obscure fetish?
chucked.avi
Four-minute video in which the camerman talks to a farmer in a room different from the "interview room". This room looks like one you'd find in a normal person's house. Exactly where they are is never specified, as the farmer only talks about his violin playing. he obviously plays his violin, but she keeps getting distracted by something.
I didn't notice this until someone on the image board thread pointed it out, but if you look at the mirror in the background, you can see a city slicker in a chicken mask masturbating.

And finally, the last video we uncovered

fuckedandsucked.avi

In this eighteen-minute video, a man named Homer from one of the previous interview videos is tied down to a mattress in the interview room. He attempts to scream but his mouth is taped over. After seven minutes, a farmer opens the door, but he does not enter.
He holds the door open for the farmer that was running in the hall in the previous video. It's revealed to be an farmer named Sneed, its hair shaved and its entire body painted yellow.
When the farmer enters the room, the other farmer closes the door behind it. Sneed sniffs the air for a moment (it may have been blind), and notices Homer tied to the mattress. It goes into a frenzy, and begins to fuck and suck him.
The assault goes on for a grueling seven minutes, until Homer finally dies. Sneed eats flesh from his corpse for four minutes as the video ends.
The thread exploded with activity after this video was uncovered, and people discussed it long into the night. When I came back to the image board the next day I found that the thread was deleted. I tried to start another one, and they banned me. I tried e-mailing the guy who sent me the chain letter with the site's url, sent him five messages and never got a response.

I have tried to discuss this website on various places, and I got banned frequently. The site itself was also deleted about three days after useless.avi was uncovered, likely because someone contacted the authorities about it.

The only proof that normalseedfornormalsneeds.com ever existed was a few screencaps people took, and videos from the site that people saved and uploaded on torrents. The most popular of which being fuckedandsucked.avi, which found its way onto a few gore sites.

Wherever you upload them to, all of the videos from normalseedfornormalsneeds.com get deleted after a while.